Monkey love! |
Side note: Butt sticking out of the ocean results in an awkward sunburn....
Escargot—tastes like snail |
Side note: I feel 12.2% smarter for having read it.
Random animal thrown on my shoulder by that kid |
Side note: No matter how dedicated they are, writers often need to renew their excitement for writing in the form of praise, cash, vacations or manuscript requests from agents or publishers.
Bourbon Street, New Orleans |
Below are the critiques I received on my winning submissions. Disclaimer: I omitted some of the specifics to save space and because it won't make sense if you haven't read the work that is being referenced. Also, I only want to post the stuff that makes me look awesome. End disclaimer.
I'm a Mayan princess |
There is so much to love:
The candles seemed like a gross overcompensation—flaming phallic exposition; Kern had to feel like he bought a lemon—a lemon trying to soothe his empty ache with a lace tablecloth and Merlot from a box; I guess three years is the universal light show anniversary. The first chapter ended at a point that was both exciting and driving to make the reader turn the page and see what’s in chapter two.
Loved it and have very little in criticism except that I wish I had the whole book. Well done.
Laetoli, Tanzania
This poem imagines the life of a hominid ancestor of humans
suggested by footprints captured in ash. The poem works best when it describes
with colorful details the little moments of the woman's life which aren't known
to science: things such as her coughing, her tears, the relationship
Brutus the Cajun alligator |
Equilibrium
This poem is well written and articulate. I chose it as the 2nd place winner and could very easily have placed it as Number 1. You have shown us what happens without telling in the poem. You have given me a new insight on the 2nd Rule of Thermodynamics. Thanks for the interesting lesson.
Labels: alligator, Belize, Bourbon Street, Cozumel, cruise, Embassytown, Equilibrium, escargot, firedamp, Laetoli, League of Utah Writers, linguistics, Mayan ruins, Merlot, New Orleans, Roatán, snorkeling, sunburn, Tanzania
Mayan princess -- better than a Mayan sacrifice, any day. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kelley!
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