All work and no play makes Cynthia a dull girl


You Forget 90% of your Dreams
Dreamscape
(Source: Stupid Station)
I am a writer, which means I spend months putting words on paper so I can spend months editing and rearranging them so I can spend months submitting them and getting rejected. When I don't get rejected, I rejoice for years, just to balance everything out.

I first discovered that I have skewed perceptions of reality when I was eight. I had a really good idea for a book, but I didn't feel comfortable telling my siblings that it was my idea in case they thought it was weird, so I called it a "dream." When I was done with my amazing tale, they told me that something was probably wrong with me.

Side note: I believed the "dream" gig was such a good red herring that I tried it again the next year. Except this time, I peeked at my birthday gifts and told my sibling about this "dream" I had that coincided with every gift I was about to get. Said sibling ratted me out and I didn't get birthday gifts that year. Dream fail!

Groceries
Shopping cart
(Source: Saving Sanity)
They were right. There's something wrong with me, but I prefer to say I'm "creative." Also, I can do shit in my writing that I would never be allowed to do in real life, which is really cool and therapeutic, and the reason I don't drink too much or hit people. But there are two sides to every coin. My writing affects my real life in unhealthy ways too.
  • When I grocery shop, I think about my totals in the terms of word count:
    • "That cost me almost a whole page."
    • "That wasn't much more than a paragraph."
    • "I can get two of these, they're only a clause apiece."
  • When I watch the news, I find myself thinking, "that would make a great story."
  • At least once a year, I sequester myself away from the world for a month to write 50,000 words. On the weekends, I might not even comb my hair.
  • When I read a really good book, instead of thinking "That was a really great book," I think, "Damn, I should have thought of that."
  • I have a crush on some of my characters. I'm not saying which ones.
  • I eavesdrop in public places to get character dialogue ideas.
  • I delight in being of part of, or seeing awkward situations, because I know I will eventually use them in a story.
rorschach10
Ink blot
(Source: zaynabdenaziari.com)
Most of all, writing something and putting it out there is baring your soul to the world. You're opening yourself up to criticism and psychological evaluation. That includes blogs. After reading two or more of a writer's works, I know who has daddy issues, a broken heart or a boring love life. I can also pretty much guess who felt nurtured as a child, who feels loved now and who has an unhealthy obsession with masturbation.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
The Shining
(Source: Be the Ink)
That being said, I'm set to lock myself in my room at the end of each work day for a month in an attempt to pound out another 50,000 words that (should) make sense when read sequentially. I'm supposed to write 1,667 words a day, but generally I write 500-750 a day during the week and then 15,000 on the weekends. The last day I'll probably write 5,000 but look back and  find the page covered with: "All work and no play makes Cynthia a dull girl" over and over again. Ooh. That could be a cool plot point.

Blog off.
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Writing conferences and business cards

I've been writing completely the wrong way.

Last year I went to the League of Utah Writers Conference in Park City and encountered something I was totally unprepared for. It wasn't harsh/helpful critique, swoon-worthy celebrity guests or a wealth of helpful information on writing/editing/publishing. I'm not saying those factors weren't present, but I was prepared for them. The surprise was the wealth of business cards that ended up in my pockets and in my purse. Everyone—and I mean everyone had one—except me.

This year's conference is coming up on Friday/Saturday and I plan to be prepared this time. I won't waste my time honing my latest manuscript. Instead, I plan to go armed with the bestest business card ever. I saw some pretty awesome business cards last year, so the stakes are high, but I was raised with five brothers and this makes me highly competitive. I also minored in professional and technical writing and I'm a freelance document designer. (Credentials proffered.) So in an effort to outdo the rest of the writing world (suck it, writing world!), I trolled the Internet for the coolest business cards ever. Below are some of the best business card offerings.

Die-cut
Cool die-cut face case with matching hair-colored card.

Pop-up
Pop-up figure card! Fun for everyone!

Impressive
Impressive official document-style card--is there a bubble-wrap card?

Balloon card
Balloon card? Can I make animals with them?!

Super-friendly
Super-friendly business cards!

Impressive retro
Impressive retro envelope wax seal card.

Dazzle you
Or good grammar or em-dashes....


Showcasing skills
Showcasing skills! Seems like a good idea.

Yes, my intention is to have an awesome business card in time for the conference. But in reality, I'll probably end up with something like this:

My name is Cynthia
My name is Cynthia
A girl can only do so much....

Setting sketch - fantasy

Middle Earth
Middle Earth
Setting is as much a part of a story as each character is. Whereas a dynamic character can draw a reader in, a well-formed landscape can lend realism to an otherwise foreign story. I've never been much for fantasy, but I've read The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia—as a matter of fact, I took a Tolkien/Lewis college course, which allowed me to geek out completely and included Lewis' lesser-known Space Trilogy, which I'll discuss in another post. I've read a few other stories that were set in mystical places—some worked well and some seemed to be trying too hard to ride the coattails of Tolkien's success. I mean, who hasn't wanted to live in a cozy Hobbit-hole for a day?

The Hero's Journey

Campbellian Monomyth:

Fantasy authors are usually intimately familiar with the Campbellian Monomyth (as illustrated) and implement the elements to varying degrees. They tend to fall back on the favorite mystical characters—elves, dwarves, trolls and dragons. And there's a map. There always seems to be a damn map.

Maps:

Most of us remember the map of Middle Earth created for Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Hobbit and the scripture behind the story, The Silmarillian. And if you weren't a Tolkien nerdling before, you're almost certainly one after the release of the epic movies.

Narnia
Narnia
Tolkien contemporary, C.S. Lewis created a map for The Chronicles of Narnia to help us bring all seven stories together. Following in the great cartographic tradition, Stephen R. Donaldson's Chronicles of Thomas Covenant is mapparific. Terry Prachett's Discworld has a map complete with a giant turtle,and Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series is all mapped up.  I know there are more great fantasy maps, but you can only fit so many in one blog. Never fear, there are tools that allow you to make your own fantasy world map if you so choose.

Decoding:

Discworld
Discworld
But it takes more than the map to help readers and viewers decode a strange new place. It's about making that strange place seem familiar—homey even. Oftentimes, authors are so hell-bent on making their mythical place different from any other mythical place that's ever been invented since the dawn of time, that the names are unpronounceable and the characters are unbelievable. We just can't quite identify with Drychnark the half hellhound, half earthworm from Yrting as he swings through the canopy of his Ulrgark-ridden world searching for the golden naaayk, which will banish the unwanted Ulgark scourge and restore his ravaged home. To help us feel something for Drychnark, put him in a believable setting and give him and his surroundings pronounceable names

The Land
The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant

Rule #1:

The first and most important thing you need to keep in mind if you're creating a fantasy world is that you can't be lazy and create something believable and unique at the same time. Creating a world takes time, patience and intelligence. Just ask God. You have to do your research—read what's been written already and know your new world inside and out before you start. Inconsistency is annoying and it alienates readers and viewers. Oftentimes, writers choose a real place and plunk their fantasy world on top of it. This helps give them a frame of reference. Then they set about renaming things like a giant army conquering a small country. That's right. It makes you kind of a bastard.

Rule #2:

The second thing you need to keep in mind is that readers and viewers don't want you to barf this new place out at them all at once. They want to be introduced to it slowly—to allow them time to acclimate before you introduce another oddity. This is a lot like undressing. Throwing off your clothes in the middle of the street screaming "look at my body! It's glorious!" is called flashing, and even if your body is glorious, you can get arrested for that. Letting your clothes fall off piece by piece in an intimate setting is either called foreplay or stripping, but both are usually better received than flashing. Think of introducing your new world as a striptease. Strip away the layers slowly to build interest and stimulate readers and viewers. Are you with me?

Rule #3:

The Wheel of Time
The Wheel of Time
The third thing you need to keep in mind is that if you decide to defy the laws of physics for any reason--although that propels us dangerously close to sci-fi--you need to be able to explain it. Again, laziness is no good here. If you take shortcuts, readers and viewers get annoyed and they won't connect with your story. Have explanations for things even if you don't spell them out in your story.

Map on:

Once your world is built, you can start spinning your story. And you can make a map to place in the front of the book if you feel so inclined.

Blog off.
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Character sketch - the sidekick

When I say "sidekick," you probably think of Robin or Kato or Tonto--some tights-wearing, mask-having comic relief character. But there are sidekicks throughout literature that help bring our favorite protagonists to life. I love writing sidekicks for my protagonists. I love them because they're awesome. Everyone should have at least one sidekick in real life, ultimately two (three's too many--let's not be greedy).

I think I love writing sidekicks so much because they were what I wished for most when I was growing up. Some little girls wanted a pony, but I--well let's be honest, I wanted a midnight black Arabian stallion--but I also wanted one of those best friends--the one you've known since kindergarten. Sure I had siblings, but siblings are terrible sidekicks for many reasons I won't go into in this blog post (nothing against sibilings...siblings are great at being siblings). I wanted someone to help me solve mysteries, to back me up when I was challenged and to set me back on track when I lost focus. I did go on an adventure with my best friend/potential sidekick in Texas, which involved me being thrown from a mighty stallion (falling off the back of a Shetland pony) and getting wounded in a mighty battle (landing in stinging nettle after falling off the back of aforementioned pony). We moved a lot, so as hard as I tried, I said goodbye to so many besties, at this point I can really only remember first names and hair color.

So I don't have a real-life sidekick. No one has ever helped me solve a twisting mystery, stand up to an oppressive giant, save the world or slapped me back into shape when I went off the radar because my role as slayer, leader of the rebellion or disavowed spy got to be too much. In movies, TV shows and books, good sidekicks often represent the protagonist's inner struggle--one may represent logic and another may represent emotion. Don't believe me?


Star Wars
Han Solo - emotion
Leia - reason

Harry Potter
Ron Weasley - emotion
Hermione Granger - reason

Star Trek
Bones - emotion
Spock - reason

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander - emotion
Willow - reason

Disclaimer: The role of a sidekick goes deeper than that if you want to delve into it, and there are other roles that can be filled by a sidekick. 

But sometimes there's only one sidekick. In these situations, the sidekick acts to balance out the protagonist's own fogged perceptions. They act as a sounding board or one of those really unflattering mirrors that shows how big your pores have gotten. Harsh reality. Sometimes they quietly offer options in the background and sometimes they offer a face-punch wake-up call.

Some examples of this balance in literature are:
  • Holmes and Watson
  • Gilgamesh and Enkidu
  • Robinson Crusoe and Friday
  • Don Quixote and Sancho Panza
  • Frodo and Samwise
Then again. Sometimes they're just a volleyball.